Warchild 8:11 Wed Oct 19
Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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So, after a shitty period the wife and I have decided to go our separate ways in life. A couple of weeks on from the numbness I am now trying to look forward.
Any experienced divorcees out there able to give me some guidance on what I can realistically expect the financial outcome to be so that I can start planning my future housing route? No idea whether it will be amicable or go down the solicitor route yet, but if solicitors were involved what can I realistically expect to have left over?
£160K equity in the house between us, a daughter of two years old to support, no other assets other than the usual family items (couple of cars, usual technology, jewellery etc).
Thanks for any help given. And thanks for anyone telling me I'm fucked/was a mug for getting married in the first place (you're right by the way)/will have to move to a shithole like Tottenham to survive on a monthly basis.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Too Much Too Young
4:48 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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mediation info
http://www.nfm.org.uk/
there will be a firm near you.
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Fifth Column
4:42 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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My Mrs earns less than me but has a better pension. Does that mean I can claim some of her pension... I mean if we ever got divorced, just in theory SWTOC
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whu&eng1
4:21 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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I used this company for mine : https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/testimonials
I recommend the consent order to be attached to the divorce petition too.
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Aalborg Hammer
3:47 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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The bloke that was my best man(and me his) got chucked out by the missus after 35 years together-he managed to get out of the house with a few clothes and his rescue greyhound ,lived in his Astra for 5 months ,kipping down where he could and picking up work as and when...he was a project manager working for big water companies until it happened...when I saw him last (June) he was bearded and smelly...happily,he managed to get a solicitor involved and he's now in line for half the house and half the wedge...but a clear example of what women can do if they so wish...keep on her good side (and he had no kids)
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Warchild
3:29 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Thanks TMTY, never realised that calculator existed.
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Too Much Too Young
3:10 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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WC
You can work out how much you need to give the wife for maintenance here.
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
As for the divorce, get the wife to agree to the mediation route, rather than lawyers. Total cost will be about £1,500 in fees if you can agree everything without too much grief.
You should be looking at 50/50m on everything though if your ex is a reasonable sort.
i did have to pay mine 6K so she could retrain to get another job as she hadn't worked for 20 years..so be prepared to have some of that. But i saw that overall as far cheaper than handing that, probably double had we gone down the solicitor route.
Be prepared and have someone sensible you can talk to and be prepared that she may turn nasty, once her mates get in her head about what she might get if she got a lawyer etc..
all the best.
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Warchild
3:00 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Thanks to everyone who has replied, especially Mike Oxsaw and those who have Whomailed me with tips and offers of help.
Some real good points to take note of and it is much appreciated.
Onwards and upwards I suppose!
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BerlinIron
6:29 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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They will look at any pension you have and either want a chunk or use it to get her a bigger share or the house
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SilverSurfer
3:32 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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"Strangers on a Train"
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Alfs
2:14 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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I haven't been 'divorced' per se, but split with my partner of 23 years (4 kids).
It's been very amicable. I gave her the house and everything that we had built together, including quite a few grand of capitol, and started afresh. In turn, she didn't chase me through courts for maintenance, which, starting afresh, I couldn't afford. We were also mortgage free, which was a help.
As I see it, you loved each other once. That doesn't have to be completely destroyed by the decision to split up and move on. Your little 'un is the most important factor, so between you work out what to do that is best for her.
Mediation, as mentioned, is a good option if you can't work it out between yourselves.
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munkyfunk
1:18 Fri Oct 21
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Ag Ag toe rag, read my mind.
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Toe Rag
11:44 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Shallow grave and a couple of bags of quick lime.
Mummy's with the angels now darling.
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Texas Iron
11:43 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Best advice...get a female lawyer...and a good one...
Never get a male lawyer...especially if you go to court...
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Texas Iron
11:38 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Half of assets lost...
Child support based on your income...for about 18 years or UK law limits.
Maybe even Alimony for Ex...
Not a good prospect...paying for it...without getting any from her...
Alimony is a very Sexist thing...!!!
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Boycie
11:28 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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realistically the more you can agree the more you save for the pot. If you start litigation you can easily do £30k between you in no time. To get legal aid she will have to allege violence. Which coincidentally happens quite a lot more now the criteria changed. Unless she is working/able to get a job and has mortgage capability she will prob stay in the house until child out of full time education and you will support them/or until she cohabits with someone else. Yes I am a lawyer have seen it all the biggest risk is when you or she talk to a "mate" and they say "you should do this or that" then you really are fucked! do hat YOU think is best
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On The Ball
10:52 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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No personal experience, but I'd echo something that was touched upon earlier - don't wind her up. DO NOT live your life on Facebook because she WILL see it - just keep a low profile.
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White Pony
10:32 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Wipe your knob on her tits.
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roltrader
10:08 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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You will get arse raped until it bleeds and not in the nice way.
Enjoy !
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SecondOpinion
9:35 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Some of you are actually married??
The things you learn on WHO
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Crassus
9:05 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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On a serious note
I read a report a little while back about the rapidly rising 'grey haired' divorce rate
Well there is a shock - well it was for the columnist, a female, who was struggling with the sadness of it all
Oh really Petal, nothing to do with the dreadful onesidedness of the right on legal system that absolutely arse fucks the bloke by default and then ices the cake by denying him access to his kids
Nah, tell you what, fuck that, bide time until the playing field is a little more even and the kids are old enough to make their own minds up
The number of blokes my age that are like the imprisoned - chalking the mental days down five bar gate you would not believe Ms self assured, saggy tits columnist
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Crassus
8:55 Thu Oct 20
Re: Divorce - Realistic Expectations?
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Mike
Lovely work, did you shag her sister up the wrongun and make it known to really drive the point home that kittems cant fact cats?
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